Top 10 Music

As I mentioned in my emailer, there really weren't too many new albums I got that knocked my socks off. I got some live Bob Schneider shows and some live Wilco shows that dominated my CD player. I also somehow stumbled onto DONOVAN and simply can't get enough of the guy. He's an underappreciated genius. However...there were a few things....maybe even ten...I liked alot this year.

1. BRIGHT EYES I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning
This album is soooo good. I thought it was from 2004 I listened to it so much this year. "Bright Eyes" is really just a guy (pictured above) named Conor Oberst. I kept seeing his male waif photo everywhere and avoided him because I hate trendy "emo" guys. Then I got some of his songs on a sampler, got the CD and firmly vowed to quit judging waify emo guys forevermore. The album is fairly stripped down acoustic stuff...with some horns and other nice, subtle toned instruments. It's a really great record. Go get it now.

2. DWIGHT YOAKAM Blame The Vein
I'm admittedly a huge DY fan but this album was kind of a return to form. He has a new producer/guitarist onboard (Keith Gattis) and the guy has really brought Dwight back to life. This album isn't all twangy country, there's some real lively rock and some hillarious psychedelic stuff too. A good, fun album.

3. FIVE A.M. This Morphine Life
Yeah, I manage em, so what. If anything, I should be sick of their songs...but this is a great album. Trent has become an extremely solid songwriter and the rest of the band seems to have plugged in to a genuine "sound." The guys were always kind of all over the map (and that was great) but this is a defined rock album with powerful lyrics and great musicianship. I wish it had gone over better...but there's still time. Go buy you a copy at: http://www.fiveam.com

4. RODNEY CROWELL The Outsider
I'm a big Rodney Crowell fan and an even bigger fan of his guitarist Will Kimbrough. Will is, quite simply, the man. He was in Todd Sniders band forever and has been with Rodney for a few years. Well, Rodney seems to have finally figured out he has a RIPPING guitarist and he lets Will tear it up on this album. Some of the songs are a little "on the nose" lyrically, but there's alot of heart on this one. And Will Kimbrough is a God.

5. JAMES MCMURTRY Childish Things
Here's where the list starts to take a turn. I didn't really go crazy for the rest of these, but I liked em alot. McMurtry's album is interesting and insightful and fairly angry. He's got a real dry delivery. In fact, his delivery is so dry, I can only get through the entire album in spurts. But still, he's saying alot of things that need to be said about the current state of affairs in the U.S. and he's a great songwriter.

6. GWEN STEFANI Love. Angel. Music. Baby.
I can't help it, I love Gweny Gwen Gwen. This album is totally lame, but the pop songs on it are rad. Especially "Holla Back Girl." If I hear a cheeseball pop song on the radio and it's catchy, and doesn't drive me insane.....I generally buy the album. That's what happened with Pink. This album isn't a work of genius, but it's fun. I also like Kelly Clarkson but can't be seen buying her stuff. Someone hook me up!

7. OLD 97'S Alive and Wired
I usually don't put live albums on a top 10 list, but I love the Old 97's and this album captures their live show really well. It's like a greatest hits album for a band with no mainstream "hits." If you've always wanted to check out the Old 97's, this album is a nice intro.

8. Calexico and Iron and Wine In the Reins
I really dig Calexico and never got the hype with Iron and Wine, but this album seems like a nice pairing for the two. Iron and Wine's vocals are quiet and interesting and Calexico adds a great Southwestern flava to the music. It's only like, 6 songs....but there's a few songs on here that simply rule.

9. WILCO Kicking Television: Live in Chicago
My favorite band does a live album....and it's so-so. Of course I love all the songs and the new lineup is pretty amazing....but this album is kind of a snooze. Plus, I have other live recordings of shows that are better. They also mixed the crowd noise in a really weird way....you can really hear the applause and singing from the crowd. That takes me out of it because when you're at a show, you can't hear the crowd clear as day. Still, Wilco rules.

10. Ryan Adams Jacksonville City Nights
In typical RA fashion, there's some GREAT songs on here and some "dude, why is this on here" songs. My love/hate relationship with Ryan will always burn brightly. However, this album sounds alot like his first band Whiskeytown...and that's a good thing. He also has 2 other albums out this year (one of which is a double album for Chrissakes) but I've only heard one of them...and didn't dig it that much.

So there ya go. Movies are next but maybe not until tomorrow. I'll start compiling and see what happens. Stay tuned true believers...

Da WORST...

I just want to vent and get these flicks out of the way. I have to admit too...this was the first year I was genuinely offended by movies...in a row. I can usually pick a few that are just stupid...but hate reigned supreme in 2005...

That being said..the most hated movie I saw was....

1. CRASH Why did I hate you so? Here's just a few reasons...
Lets say you watch CRASH. You're a smart person. You would never head into your day seeking to do no harm to others or let a preconceived notion sway you one way or the other. You think for yourself. You're smart, wise, and reflective. If anything I just wrote rings true in some "gut" level, you've fallen victim to CRASH. The movie is operating on a simple advertising level....trying to make you feel smart and reflective over stuff you TOTALLY knew already. Unless you're a closed minded, right wing douchebag. In which case, you probably hated (or loved because it was SOOOooo true) CRASH. Furthermore, it attempts to cover up it's racial stereotyping with a heavy handed, narcissistic view on life. Saying you think black people will carjack you, Hispanics are housekeepers who are really pretty nice and white people are megalomaniacs isn't a racial/social breakthrough, it's still a stereotype. Yes, the movie makes you think (and Matt Dillon and Sandra Bullock were really good!) . But I shall now appeal to the same ideas: Children need guidance. Lets make a movie! I'm a genius!

I have other issues as well...but these will stand for now.

2. FANTASTIC FOUR I've always had a soft spot for this comic...and they totally fucked it up. As a screenwriter (and gossip follower) I know they had about 10 drafts to work with...and it shows. They tried to cherry pick all the "best" parts of the drafts and ended up with a STUPID movie. It's not a difficult story, but they tried to be fun and sexy and scary and exciting and ended up looking like 5 kids playing with action figures. "Oh! Oh! pretend I could start a solar fire and then you could like, trap Dr. Doom in it with a forcefield and then..." I could go on for my hate of this film....but read my review at Soundwaves Cinema. Enjoy.

3. THE ADVENTURES OF SHARKBOY AND LAVA GIRL Yeah, another kids movie. But here's the deal...and a mini rant. I work with kids and have 2 AWESOME cousins who are under 10. At work, we can't show anything stronger than PG. We shouldn't even show that (by "school" rules) but we do. No one realizes that 98% of "kids movies" are PG. Anyway, my point is.....the most creative and fun place for filmmakers should be for kids films. Just have FUN. Go crazy! The kids will love it. Instead, we get pseudo-fun tripe like THE ADVENTURES OF SHARK BOY AND LAVA GIRL. Just like F4, it's grown people playing with action figures. It's stupid. It makes our kids stupid. It makes my face hurt. Stop doing it. Trust me when I say...kids want to get to know a character. That's why "magic" cards and the LOTR trilogy are popular. They want to feel like they know the characters. What do these studios trot out? Lame puppet shows. Wake up people.

I also really didn't like SHOPGIRL and I felt it was a middle aged rich guys wet dream.....only Claire Danes is nothing to get wet over. Other than that, kid movies pissed me off. I love kids and look for them to reinvigorate the film industry....but keep feeding them shit and the same will come out.

Tomorrow.....I go nice...

In the year Two-Thoouuuusaaaand....and Ten

I see alot of movies...some good, mostly bad. And I'm not bragging or being a know-it-all. Trust me. Many of the films I see courtesy of Film Threat are real bad. So bad they make you almost afraid to see new and "undiscovered" films. It also makes a film lover downright cranky. There's just not alot of originality out there. If there's originality, there's bad camerawork. If originality and good camera work are there...the editing sucks....or (and in most cases) the writing sucks. It's tough to make a solid, indie feature...even though access to great equipment is remarkably easy to get.

I mentioned I had a beginning film class at a local Community College and it was bad. Well, the class was fine but the students were pretty much morons....especially the ones ages 18-21. An older guy and his girlfriend did a nice video and there was some other cool stuff...but only one person (besides me of course) really tried hard. And the guys I'm talking about made a 25 minute film! 20 minutes longer than what it was supposed to be. It was actually really cool too. Other than that, it was lame imitations of skate/bike/jackass videos. Yee fucking haw.

Anyway.....I just watched a demo reel from a co-worker's son who can't be much older than 13. His stuff is really, really, really....good. This kid has a solid understanding of editing. SOLID. I have no idea if he just has a really good teacher or just picks up on how films are put together...but he knows his shit. I suspect it's both and it's impressive. I've also helped teach groups of High School students video production and have consistently been impressed at their grasp of editing and camera work. These are 13-15 year olds I'm talking about. I mean, when I was that age I was sitting on my ass playing Atari all day. Now I see 3 videos from a 13 year old that were made in NOVEMBER.

I guess my point is....I see hope in the future of filmmaking. I'm not saying this kid is Orson Welles....but to see someone understand the medium so well makes me think a filmic revolution is forthcoming. And I say VIVA LA REVOLUTION! Party on, Wayne.

There's a disease....rollin' 'round the hospital...

Ugh. I've been feeling real sick these last few days. I don't think I can go to work tomorrow. As such, I've put the wife down to bed and succesfully snuck out of the house and down to 7-11 for a 6-pack of coors light (to get me through a second viewing of ELIZABETHTOWN on my Mac...and no, it's not out yet), some Vitaminwater (lemonade is my morning poison) and some chocolate hostess donette gems which will be delightful over said Vitaminwater and morning coffee. Repeat that whole last paragraph in joyful "Stewie" from THE FAMILY GUY speech and you'll see why I'm so giddy. INDEED.

Yet something always bothers me about our local 7-11's. Well, three things...

1. Don't call me "boss." It makes me feel bad. Why not call me "Massah?" I'm no more your boss than you are mine. In fact....who can refuse to sell me beer? You. Who is in charge of changing the Big Gulp machine? You. Who's in charge of putting new hot dogs on for me? You. Who squeezes new cheese into the nacho machine at 2 a.m. after I stand there for 5 minutes wondering why it won't come out? You. Who politely looks the other way as I cherry pick items off the counter and put them in my pocket? You, sir. You. In short, I should be calling YOU "boss." Not the other way around.

2. The counter at 7-11 is not a casino, dude. I understand you won 4 free tickets and/or $5.00 on the California Lottery. But take your f-ing tickets and go scratch them somewhere else...these nachos are HOT! And Goddam it, don't even try to remember your lucky numbers lady....do it at home.

3. Who the hell are you people talking to EVERY time I come into a Quick-e-Mart or 7-11!?! No matter what time (including 12 midnight on a Wednesday...like 30 mins ago) 9 times out of 10 there's a guy working the counter wearing gold chains and an employee shirt yammering on the phone in his native tongue. I talk to enough of these guys to know that these Quick-e-Marts are family owned and run. Are you calling home because rates are cheaper at work? Does the Persian Godfather who owns the joint keep calling in and seeing how much Slurpee is left? Seriously, next time you're in one of these places, check and see if the counter guy is on the phone. It's a solid 90% of the time. They probably are talking to no one and just don't want to talk to me.

Anyway....I'm opening ELIZABETHTOWN now...the most honest mistake a filmmaker has made in a long while. Good night, and Good Luck.

Someone pay me..

...glad I posted what I did last night so, yet again I was first on something (although no one else has caught my KING KONG references...they will! Maybe...).

Anyway....looks like ESPN's Jim Caple reads this blog. Just think, I could be a staff writer for ESPN too...I am available.

Sellouts suck.

I'm a San Francisco Giants fan. A BIG one...both literally and figuratively. I know we haven't won a World Championship since what...1953? So what I'm about to say isn't about petty jealousy. It's about baseball...and the sanctity of the game.

I just heard that Johnny Damon has signed with the Yankees. All I can say to that is, may you suffer a career with no (more) World Series rings just like your money grubbing, celebrity seeking, buy a championship at all costs bitchwhore cohorts like asshole Alex Rodriguez and roid freak Jason Giambi. Normally I don't care what the Yankees do and I just let them ramble on..and on...and on. I also enjoy watching them spend huge money to NOT win the World Series. But here's what really gets me...

Players like Jason Giambi, John Kruk, Kirby Puckett, Ozzie Smith (although I hate him), Pedro Martinez and Johnny Damon (to name a very few) have genuine personalities that are vital to baseball. When you join the Yankees, you cover up your personallity. You have to cut your hair, grow no facial hair and show no tattoos. It's a team rule. Sound like joining the ranks of corporate America or worse, the military? Well it should. It's bullshit and it's detrimental to the game. You have to conform to wear the pinstripes. Ironic because the most popular Yankee ever BABE RUTH wouldn't put up with that BS.


When Giambi was on the A's, he had a personality. He had long greasy hair. A goatee to cover his f-ing hairlip. He lets the tats on his arms show. Now, as a Yankee, he might as well be working at Enterprise RentaCar with a white shirt and black tie. I'm no A's fan (but I do go to quite a few A's games...more than most A's fans I might add) but Jason Giambi wasn't "just a player," he was a personality. Now Johnny Damon, he of the long hair and beard. He of the Amy Poehler "Johnny Damon....how I love you...". He of fun, class, personality, stats...BASEBALL LORE will always be clean shaven. Short haired. Just another brick in the wall. What a fucking sellout asshole.

Like I said...more power to the Yankees for having the money to try to buy rings. Yay. And I'm never one to say "hey, don't take the money....stay where you fit." That's pro sports/TV/Movie/Life. But dammitt man...you let everyone think you were the real deal. Now you do this. F-You Johnny Damon. I hope you never, ever win shit while on the Yankees. Just like the other big personalisy (Giambi) who got sucked into the corporate money machine.

Chuck Norris

My webmaster Jed sent me this...it's too damn funny!

Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but
because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds
till." After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the
face.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related
deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another
fist.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a
pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more
pirates to him.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck
said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came
back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he
threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with
cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave
her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck
Norris."

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger; it is
actually a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the
face that day.

If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you get "Huck corn,
sir." That is why every fall, Chuck travels to Nebraska and burns the
entire state down.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot
broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart
while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter
he grew a beard.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from
cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also
requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat
on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his
soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and
admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every
second Wednesday of the month.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck
Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned
beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and
saying "booya".

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on
Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His
reasoning? It was more "humane".

Chuck Norris often asks people to pull his finger. When they do, he
roundhouses them in the abdomen. Then he farts.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck
Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris uses a live rattle snake for a condom.

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before
they attack.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck
could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE
YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat.
Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't
f--k with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony
of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile
radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was
removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a
roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's
no glitch."

Someone's always smarter than you....

Last night during KING KONG, I was intently studying just what Peter Jackson was trying to say with this film. Some films are total crap and aside from sociological readings, there's not much to glean from them. But I simply refuse to believe that anyone as intelligent as Peter Jackson just makes "movies." That being said....some spoliers may lie ahead. if you haven't seen the movie, you may not want to read this...

The first thing that jumped out at me was how the character arcs and their objectives were clearly and well defined. All the characters are completely obsessed by something. Ann Darrow wants to be an "important" actress...or at least a popular one. She'll stop at nothing to become one. This sets her on the adventure. Carl Denham wants to make amazing movies...or at least very popular ones and he will truly stop at nothing to do this. He, next to Kong may be the most obsessed. King Kong is incredibly lonely...he's a misunderstood king...the very last of his breed. When he goes, there will be no more gigantic gorillas. These three are the dynamic character, the antagonist and the protagonist of the film. However, everyone in the film is obsessed. Jack Driscoll is obsessed with writing. The ships captain is obsessed with the desire to be the greatest live animal captor around. The movie producers in the film are obsessed with money. Everyone has their bugaboo and it's perfectly laid out. All that being said, we will now get into the conspiracy theory-esque portion of this mini-review.

There's no doubt KING KONG, both now and then, is a parable for racism. White people go to faraway island, capture a native, chain it down, sail back and proceed to make money off of it while denigrating and harming it. That's all as obvious as can be. However, from about the 3rd scene in the movie and on, the racist element kept leaping out at me in a new and certainly intentional way. On the way home, I kept piecing it together as best I could on one late night viewing and I was going to post on someone else's blog or on Film Threat but I figured I'd do it here. This is what I noticed...

smarter cont.....

In a very early point of the film, a black character grabs a script from Ann and proceeds to read it illiterately. He mispronounces "Driscoll" and even the word "theater" which is ironic since he works in one. Like I said in the opening, things like this are there for a reason in good films...they don't just "happen." Once onboard the ship, we see the Captain isn't just a ship for hire, but he's basically stealing exotic animals and selling them back in the U.S. This is very much slavery...as is what happens to Kong. Here's the stuff that really hit me though.

In a scene in New York, a big showdown takes place in front of the Hermitage Hotel. Why was this name sticking out to me?? It bugged me for the rest of the movie. I knew I had heard it before (Hermitage) but I didn't know where. When I got home, I googled it and it turns out Hermitage was Andrew Jackson's home in which he employed a good bunch of...you guessed it...slaves. Ironic? I doubt it. Hell, Jackson even knocked one of them up!

Normally, I tend to really reach when looking at a movie. It's fun to apply a say, "feminist reading" to a film or look at it as existential or post-modern. Admittedly, I can get out there. So while I was very much tuned into the whole "obsession" theme, that early scene with the illiterate black kid kind of flavored my viewing. It made me tune into the race element. I was willing to let it go (aside from the burning Hermitage question) until the closing scene of the movie. As Kong lies dead on the ground, a group gathers around to take photos and check him out. The camera cuts to two officers at the right side of the screen and on the left is a group of 3-4 people...one of which is a tall black man. The black man totally stands out...you can't miss him. One officer then looks to the other and says (something to the effect of) "I don't see what the big deal is....he's just a big, dumb animal." That just smacked of white views on blacks during slavery...hell, even now most likely.

So as I figured this out at 2 a.m., I couldn't wait to be the genius who unlocked the secret of Kong. The next day I google "king kong"+ racist and found 400,000+ people who were already smarter than me. Dammitt! Not only that, but David Edelstein at Slate kind of goes there as well. However, to the best of my knowledge I AM THE FIRST to publish these thoughts that are taken directly from the movie after opening night. I'm sure someone else will notice this (most like the brilliantly insane Armond White) but I'm saying I saw it and wrote about it first! If you notice anyone else ripping me off, alert my lawyers.

King Kong is dead. Long Live King Kong!!!

Kong!!!
Originally uploaded by dlew022.

If you'll note the time I'm posting this, you'll see it's 1:30 a.m. on a school night. But I just got in from KING KONG and wanted to be amongst the first to say.....IT ROCKS!!!

I'm not a big CGI guy, but Kong is freeking amazing. Andy Serkis (the guy who provided the eyes and movements of Kong as well as for Golum in the LOTR films) deserves an honorary Oscar....he also deserved one for playing Golum. Serkis is truly a cinematic pioneer and someday we'll look back and realize that.

The film drags a little in the beginning but all that stuff needs to be there as the storylines get set-up as well as the theme of the movie. Once the crew hits Skull Island, it's ON like DONKEY KONG.

I'm impressed by this movie on so many levels, I can't even start to explain. One thing I will say is that this is a movie about loving movies. It's a totally FUN time and it's also very touching. I distinctly remember seeing the original KING KONG as a kid and being very sad at what becomes of him. This new version really adds to that and what you end up with is a fun, exciting and touching film.

One final note....every time I go to the movies, I hate it more. Teeny bopper wanna-be gang bangers yap all through the show and it's tough to say anything because they may be packing some heat. The last thing I need is to get stabbed by some Rohnert Park dipshit in a movie theater. Also, to the idiot old man in front of me who kept narrating to himself throughout the movie- fuck you.

All that aside, take your chances and see this EPIC on the big screen. More later.

And now for a really big shew...really big

In an attempt to avoid the inevitable, I've been taking 6 units a semester at Santa Rosa Junior College in order to not pay back my $20,000 in student loans. The plan is to take "fun" classes until I get all my credit cards paid off, then start in on the student loan. Brilliant! As such, I have a digital video class and an introduction to Theatre Arts class that are wrapping up this week. Past classes have included golf, screenwriting (which I have an AA and a BA in...and got a fucking C- on my script in the class...nice) and another digital video class. Easy, easy stuff.

Today we had a student film festival to show our final projects and I showed a video I made for the band I work with...five a.m. I originally had a really great idea for a video but I don't want to share because I might still do it. But then I realized that what people don't see is all the boring ass driving a band has to do just to bring you some rock n roll goodness. It's incredibly ass numbing and tedious. So I cobbled together a bunch of video I have collected recently and over the years and made a video for the song "Already Gone." I think it came out really well. It's kind of...a weekend on the road with the band. Only shorter.

We showed it in class and even though I have made other shorts before, I've only watched them in front of a group maybe once....so I was kinda nervous. Plus, the song is really beautiful and slow and the other shorts included one guy lighting himself on fire, getting slapped and jumping off rooftops (cleverly named "dumbass") and 4 other shorts were skate/bmx/snowboard videos. The 3-4 other ones were actually quite good.

Anyway, the video should be up on my website soon and it went off without a hitch. I got extremely lucky matching up the live footage to the song. A few times during editing I had to like....watch it 2-3 times because I couldn't believe how in-sync it was. I was forseeing a mega headache matching it up...but it worked. Everyone in class seemed to like it....but I'm sure they would have liked to see more farts getting lit on fire. Ah, youth.

Went to a party last Saturday night....

Some good friends of ours had a nice, mellow Christmas party Saturday. Wait, it was a "holiday" party Mr. Bill O'Reilly. That's right beeotch! Anyway, I was doing some beer drinking and hanging out when I suddenly did the lamest party foul ever. Well....in a while at least.

A neighbor was borrowing some DVD's from our hosts and I asked to see them to give them my seal of approval. He handed them over and, rather than set down my bottle of beer (God forbid), I tucked it under my arm and began to look through the DVD's. One of them slipped out of the pile and fell on the floor next to the couch I was standing in front of. Without thinking twice, I bent over to pick it up....while the beer was still under my arm.

I'm about 6"4 and have quite the beer gut going so bending over and then standing back up takes me a solid 2-4 seconds...so that's how long the beer poured onto the couch for. When I stood up, I just kept looking at the DVD's until I felt that my leg was wet. Then the neighbor kind of went "ohhhh dude." I totally drenched the couch. I felt terrible...I still do. I apologized a bunch and they said that since they have a kid, the cushions are washable but still. What a jackass. I mean, I wasn't even all that drunk, it was just a bonehead move on my behalf.

So, if you plan on inviting me to your HOLIDAY party this year, get some plastic coverings for your furniture.

Over it...

....I With the New
Originally uploaded by dlew022.

Uhhh...yeah. It took me all of about 10 minutes to get over the old mac. I still miss it....but not that bad. In fact, I haven't looked at it once since Jumbo the G5 was switched on. I'm excited to have imovie with more ram/memory and fun stuff like garageband and the little dashboard thingy.

I will now proceed to not leave the house for the weekend.

Ch-ch-ch-Changes...

Out with the old....
Originally uploaded by dlew022.

I get attached to inanimate objects. I always have. When I was a little kid I was fairly inconsolable for a day or two after we gotrid of our washer and dryer. I remember it well...it was a very 70's-chic pea green color. The dryer crapped out so my parents got new stuff and I was very, very upset. It's the darndest thing too. When I was 8 or so, my dog Spike got hit by a car and I think I was sadder about losing the washer and dryer. Maybe I'm a cyborg.

Anyway...
My point is, we JUST got a brand spanking NEW Mac G5!!!! Erica's parents bought it for us for Christmas too!! How totally COOL! Thanks M&M!

Erica and I were going to take out a Mac loan to get one because our old iMAC was getting wonky in it's old age. It's seen here in the picture. It's Ruby colored and I love that computer. It was my best friend when I was homesick. It was the first thing Erica and I bought together.

It started with me in Petaluma and was with me as I toiled over learning screenwriting. It went with us to L.A. for me to pursue my dream. It was my weapon of choice for 2 feature screenplays and 3 shorts. It's been a great computer and now, it's being put out to pasture. As you can see by what it's saying, it isn't happy.

This will be the last thing I write on this computer for a while. I'd like to get a real office some day and be reunited with my Ruby Red iMAC. Until that day comes.....Godspeed fair Macintosh. You've been a loyal compadre on many a drunken night. Sniff.

It was twenty (five) years ago today....

John Lennon
Originally uploaded by dlew022.

that John Lennon was shot and killed. I know it's cliche to tell your "Where were you when...." story, but I'm doing it anyway. I was 8 or 9 years old and we were living in the armpit of California, Orland. I DISTINCTLY remember this all so clearly....

I was trying to go to sleep and the phone rang. My mom answered and all of the sudden she was crying and really upset. Being the little momma's boy I was, I started getting upset because my mom was upset. I started yelling to her...trying to figure out what was wrong. I was afraid my Grandpa had died or something.

She came into my room and told me that someone had shot John Lennon. This stunned me. I grew up on the Beatles as one of my Aunts was a total hippie and the other one really loved the Beatles. My mom was a fan although she used to say she never forgave them for breaking up...she even gave all her Beatles records to my Aunt. I remember spending hours at my Aunts house, making her play me Beatles records while I rifled through her Beatles memorabilia. I remember being scared of John Lennon because he was frequently naked in many of his photos. Yuck.

Anyway...the news of John being killed....by someone else...on purpose...knocked me for a loop. I couldn't grasp why anyone would hurt such a great person. I started to cry (but admittedly, mostly because my mom was crying) and still to this day....I don't understand.

But I went
here and talked to John and you should too. I miss you John.