G-whiz Mail

I converted over to gmail like, a year or maybe two years ago. I had just had enough of AOL and their inability to play well with Macs. And their ability to suck more than any other email service alive. I dig gmail...it's fine. Seems like their spam blocker is much better than most. But one thing thats always made me laugh-slash-made me realize how close we are to Orwellian times is the way the service grabs keywords from an email you're reading and throws up a news story or a website link that somehow relates to whatever it is you're reading. Like...if you emailed your aunt for a smoothie recipe, you might find a link for fresh pineapples delivered to your house. Stuff like that.

One time I was emailing about a friends batchelor party and gmail was kind enough to provide me a link to a site that sells inflatable sheep. It's usually pretty benign stuff and usually lame but I just had another comical little helper from gmail that I thought I would share.

I emailed my friend because motherfucking CHEAP TRICK is coming to the Petaluma Fair this year and he loves Cheap Trick. I really love Cheap Trick...so much so I'm giving up Giants/Yankees tickets that night so I can see CHEAP TRICK in my hometown. This isn't some jokey, lets get drunk and laugh at them thing either like it was when I saw Loverboy at the Fair a few years back. I am genuinely stoked to see Cheap Trick...at the fair. But I digress, as usual.

So my buddy and I email back and forth and I send one off and at the top of my email box it says "Women Stand and Pee - pmateusa.com - Neatly pee while standing, without dropping your drawers!" Now that on it's own is hillarious, but what about an email regarding "cheap trick," "petaluma," and "fair" made this link appear for me?

Of course I clicked on the site and now I'm even more concerned, perplexed and laughing my ass off. It's basically a site where you can buy an extremely uncomfortable looking funnel to...hook into yourself (if you're a woman) and thus pee standing up. Apparently there's some medical uses and all but damn, whoever created this and moreover, whoever made that website must have rock hard abs from laughing their ass off!







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