Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Joey, do you like...gladiator movies?

If my name were Joey and I were in the cockpit of "Airplane" and heard that question, I'd have to say "no, I don't like gladiator movies." I realized this last night while watching the movie "300." I kept meaning to see it in theaters, up on the bigscreen but something always came up and I kept missing it. I know now that secretly, I didn't really want to see it because I don't like gladiator movies.

I kind of thought I didn't about a year ago when I tried to get into HBO's "Rome." It was cool looking...had lots of blood and nudity, but something was amiss in my mind. It was just kind of "meh." Then, last week, I rented the directors cut of Oliver Stone's "Alexander" because word on the street was if the movie had been released the way it was released on the speical directors cut, it could have won some Oscars. I got about an hour into "Alexander," started dozing off, fast forwarded to the scenes where Rosario Dawson was naked and then shut it off. I didn't even feel bad, it just wasn't doing it for me. Which brings us to my renting "300."

I wanted to rent it when it came out, but all the copies were checked out. Instead I rented some "Deadwood" season one episodes because I never saw that either. (**Note** It RULES!!! and the aforementioned "Alexander." So after watching five straight season one "Deadwood" episodes, I had to get more. When I went to get more, I noticed "300" was in stock so I got it. After watching 5 more "Deadwood" episodes over two nights, last night I decided to watch "300" so I could savor the "Deadwood" tonight. And "300" was o.k. It was just....o.k.

Yeah, it looks totally awesome and unique. The battle sequences are cool and there were some shots in which I literally went "oooooh." But other than that, ho-hum. I will say (and this is without cynicism) it's nice to see a full-on right-wing Republican based movie. While I certainly don't agree with right-wing conservatism, it does deserve to be recognized and presented as art. If you think I'm overanalyzing the movie then you really must have been spacing out. The Spartans are easily Republicans of the current ilk. They go against the populace to wage a "pre-emptive" strike and this enter into an un-winable quagmire. Oh, wait. that's my interpretation. What really happens is honor and duty to country and freedom inspire 300 spartans to attack the brown skinned persians who are seeking to take over the world through their barbarism and mysticism. Yeah, no Muslim connection there. Plus there's lots of right-wing required male homo-eroticism to make any closeted gay man sweat while he watches the movie beside his Christian wife. But I digress.

My point is, "300" was o.k. and I realize now gladiator movies aint my bag baby.

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