Portland.

So slightly buzzed and already road-weary, I headed to Portland, Oregon with the band at about 11:00 p.m. It was a short trip that ended up at some friend of some band members wife’s friends mansion. Yeah, a mansion. I slept on some big ass couch next to a clock that made a charming jingle every hour. I felt how Desmond on “Lost” must have felt when he got awakened every few hours. The other thing was, I’m a really poor sleeper (drunk or not) and after being awakened 4-5 hours in a row by some music box thing, I came to the realization….I had no idea where I was.

I knew the place was nice and was in the mountains, but it you asked me to find it again on my own, I’d have better luck finding D.B. Cooper in the Oregon hills. I’ve come to realize recently that I am really pretty anal about a lot of things and sleeping at a strangers house is one of them. I mean, jeez. What if they have some crazy teenage son who wasn’t expecting us and found me in the living room? What if the man of the house sleepwalks or hears me snoring and beats me with a 9-iron? What if the lady of the house sleeps naked and comes in to shut off that annoying clock? The list goes on and on in my head (and gets much darker as well) and pretty soon, I’m totally awake.

So after lying around terrified for 4-5 hours, the rest of the band got up. Turns out the people were at work and we were alone. Plus, they left us like 5 pounds of bacon! I looked at how much that bacon must have cost and it was like, $6.00!! Holy shit! Oregon’s lack of a tax kicks ass!

So after eating bacon and eggs, we sat around. Dum de dum. It was boring. I like to see new towns, the guys like to sit around. Which is fine, they need to be rested and focused for the show. But I get antsy and I love new places. So around 2:00 or so, we headed into town to find the Aladdin Theater where the show was to take place.

The theater was cool! Apparently it’s claim to fame is that “Deep Throat” showed there for like, 15 years straight! When told of this I said “sooo….you’re saying don’t sit in the chairs?” My old Petaluma buddy Brennan came down and had some beers and food then pretty soon, the show was on. The band was great but I think this was the low point of the tour.

The place was all seated for one and for two we were just in and out. Seattle was fun because we could catch our breath and see the Sister Hazel show. Portland was set-up, eat dinner, play, load-up hit the road. Between that and the day spent lounging around, it was almost like Portland didn’t happen. Plus we discovered that the problem with leaving right after an opening set is, you don’t sell merchandise or CD’s for shit. Ah well. We had a long drive to Yreka (again) and then another 6-7 hours drive to San Francisco. We loaded up and left Portland, vowing to come back soon.