Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Garbage Sa...err...GARAGE Sale

We had a garage sale last Sunday and boy, did it ever suck. I hate getting up at 6:00 a.m. and getting up that early on a Sunday especially blows. But, we have a bunch of junk to get rid of and earning some extra Christmas money sounded cool. I rolled into Petaluma at 7:15 and sure enough, there was an early bird parked in front of our house. I snuck right past her and darted into the house. We took an ad out on Craigslist and it clearly stated the sale started at 8:00 so she should have paid attention.

I went out and set up the garage and sat down to wait. At about 7:30 the early bird came down the driveway looking pissed. She was Asian and her English was so-so but I gathered she was mad to have been kept waiting. I said we started at 8:00 so...there. She then proceeds to ask me if I have any "electronics...cell phone....computers...cell phones...printers....calculators...cell phones." I told her nope, sorry but she kept asking if I had any cell phones. Finally after idly rifling through some stuff she stormed off.

About 30 seconds later this Asian guy came down the driveway and said "What did that lady just buy from you!?!" I told him nothing and then he started in with the "you got any cell phones....electronics...computers." Ugh. It was destined to be a long ass day. Fortunately he bought an old vacuum cleaner and some speakers. About that time my wife arrived and proceeded to try and boss me around which didn't go over well. Her parting words were in regards to this slightly broken partition we had...kind of like portable french doors. She said, "why is that even out here? No one's going to buy that..."

About half an hour later the only normal customer of the day came down the driveway. He bought some old records (three Faith No More imports to boot) and then he guessed it....the slightly broken partition. In your face Miss Bossy Pants! A while later two hardcore garage salers swung by and bought a box of crap apiece and then I saw a big ass truck out front with George Bush bumper stickers on it. Oh, great. Some old lady comes down the driveway and I say hello. She goes, "You got any old shotguns or pistols?" As I told her no I notice this Hispanic guy coming and talking loudly, in Spanish, on his cell phone. He brushes past the gun lady while blabbing on his phone, picks up a car stereo...looks at it....puts it down and walks off all the while talking on his cell phone. I could tell the lady desperately wanted me to make some racist comment to like, support the look of contempt in her eyes, but I didn't oblige.

When all was said and done we made about $40.00. Total. Waste. Of. Time.

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