Saturday, December 23, 2006


I'm sure I'm not stating anything shocking or uncommon here but man do I hate funerals. My family has been really lucky so far in that we ahven't had all that much death. For me, grieving has always been a personal, quiet kind of thing. But everyone reacts differently. Today's Nate's memorial and there's going to be upwards of 300 people there I'm guessing. I just don't want to deal with all these different feelings and personalities and peronality disorders. Like...

When nate died this guy we all know called my wife's friend and left a message that went something like, "Hi _____ this is _____...Nate got stabbed and killed. Merry Christmas." Click. I mean, some people are insensitive and I get that, but when you're calling your phone list in a snide way to be first guy on the block to shit in someones stocking, it just seems wrong. But that's what I'm getting at.

When Nate died, I called our friend Dave. He lives in New Mexico and he and Nate shared a close bond. I sure as shit didn't want to call him...but I did because that's what friends do. But I also have respect and class and I'm not a self absorbed asshole who needs to like...gossip about tragedy. The other thing that brings this blogging on is the internet.

The local paper, the Press Democrat has been covering the story and if you read it online, there's a place where you can comment on the story. The thing is, it's all anonymous internet posting and some of it is just plain creepy and sick. One person decided to say that maybe Nate had it coming because he was at the Phoenix and what kind of adult goes there. Another person alluded to the fact that people shouldn't be hanging out at bars. Even more sad and disturbing are the people advocating some kind of lynch mob for Nate's murderer. Erica and I know who some of the people posting are...even behind their pseudonym. And again, I understand everyone grives differently and deals with tragedy differently. But I frigging hate the way some people simply must be suffering more than everyone.

It's like that person you tell, " wife has cancer" and they go, "oh yeah...well, my mom had cancer and so did my aunt." It's like a cancer pissing contest. I don't get people's need to try and outdo one another in the tragedy/grieving process. And it's going to be in full swing today. Lots of sad, screwy people vying for attention. Ugh...funerals suck.

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