Monday, June 04, 2007

Funny things I've heard lately...

I tend to really listen to, notice...take in pretty much everything around me. While it helps keep me entertained and, I feel, helps me with my screenwriting, it also frequently gets me pissed off (because people are so. frigging. stupid.) However sometimes it's just funny. For instance...

A few weeks ago, my elderly neighbor and his wife were moving to a "Retiree Community." Their son bought their house and they were going to move down the road a spell to this nice golf course community for old folks. As Tom (the neighbor) was getting in his truck to leave, we chatted for a few minutes and I asked him where they were headed. He told me about the old folks community and I said, "Oh, it's nice over there. I've played golf on their course a few times."

Tom kind of smiled and says, "'s nice alright. You walk in on your own two feet and by the time you leave, they carry you out feet first."

Last weekend (Memorial Day) I woke up Sunday morning with a big hangover. Igby was on the bed being squirmy so I rolled over and pet him as I opened my eyes. I noticed his left eye was swollen shut. Since he's got kind of gooey eyes, I thought it was just build up, so I pried it open. When I got a better look, it seemed like someone had taken a fork and scrambled his pupil like an egg. I freaked out!! It was super red and the black pupil was like...all distorted.

Erica was out of town so I pulled myself together and went to the emergency vet. It took over 3 hours. Ugh. Plus, I'm kind of new to the pet owner world so I was ill-prepared for those weird people who's whole life is their pet. This one woman was there with her lameass little Spaniel and I had to listen to a run down of her dogs recent injuries as I waited for the vet to finish fixing Igby's jacked up eye.

Finally (thankfully) the vet brought Igby out and he (Igby, not the vet) proceeded to sniff the other dogs and be his usual gregarious self. After all the other owners "oooohed" and "awwwed" Igby, I put him on his leash and went to the counter to do paperwork. The annoying ladies Spaniel kind of followed us and they were sniffing each other and whatnot. As I signed my credit card bill, I heard her yank her Spaniel away from Igby and bring the dog back across the room. She goes, " stay away from that little doggie...he just wants to have sex with you."

Igby's fixed so it made me kind of laugh to myself. Now I feel like I should have told her not to get her shitty little dogs hopes up. Frigging skanky little Spaniel.

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