I just want to vent and get these flicks out of the way. I have to admit too...this was the first year I was genuinely offended by movies...in a row. I can usually pick a few that are just stupid...but hate reigned supreme in 2005...
That being said..the most hated movie I saw was....
1. CRASH Why did I hate you so? Here's just a few reasons...
Lets say you watch CRASH. You're a smart person. You would never head into your day seeking to do no harm to others or let a preconceived notion sway you one way or the other. You think for yourself. You're smart, wise, and reflective. If anything I just wrote rings true in some "gut" level, you've fallen victim to CRASH. The movie is operating on a simple advertising level....trying to make you feel smart and reflective over stuff you TOTALLY knew already. Unless you're a closed minded, right wing douchebag. In which case, you probably hated (or loved because it was SOOOooo true) CRASH. Furthermore, it attempts to cover up it's racial stereotyping with a heavy handed, narcissistic view on life. Saying you think black people will carjack you, Hispanics are housekeepers who are really pretty nice and white people are megalomaniacs isn't a racial/social breakthrough, it's still a stereotype. Yes, the movie makes you think (and Matt Dillon and Sandra Bullock were really good!) . But I shall now appeal to the same ideas: Children need guidance. Lets make a movie! I'm a genius!
I have other issues as well...but these will stand for now.
2. FANTASTIC FOUR I've always had a soft spot for this comic...and they totally fucked it up. As a screenwriter (and gossip follower) I know they had about 10 drafts to work with...and it shows. They tried to cherry pick all the "best" parts of the drafts and ended up with a STUPID movie. It's not a difficult story, but they tried to be fun and sexy and scary and exciting and ended up looking like 5 kids playing with action figures. "Oh! Oh! pretend I could start a solar fire and then you could like, trap Dr. Doom in it with a forcefield and then..." I could go on for my hate of this film....but read my review at Soundwaves Cinema. Enjoy.
3. THE ADVENTURES OF SHARKBOY AND LAVA GIRL Yeah, another kids movie. But here's the deal...and a mini rant. I work with kids and have 2 AWESOME cousins who are under 10. At work, we can't show anything stronger than PG. We shouldn't even show that (by "school" rules) but we do. No one realizes that 98% of "kids movies" are PG. Anyway, my point is.....the most creative and fun place for filmmakers should be for kids films. Just have FUN. Go crazy! The kids will love it. Instead, we get pseudo-fun tripe like THE ADVENTURES OF SHARK BOY AND LAVA GIRL. Just like F4, it's grown people playing with action figures. It's stupid. It makes our kids stupid. It makes my face hurt. Stop doing it. Trust me when I say...kids want to get to know a character. That's why "magic" cards and the LOTR trilogy are popular. They want to feel like they know the characters. What do these studios trot out? Lame puppet shows. Wake up people.
I also really didn't like SHOPGIRL and I felt it was a middle aged rich guys wet dream.....only Claire Danes is nothing to get wet over. Other than that, kid movies pissed me off. I love kids and look for them to reinvigorate the film industry....but keep feeding them shit and the same will come out.
Tomorrow.....I go nice...
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